Wow!
My 8 year old Daughter and I have just had a major blow out regarding what she was going to wear in her class pictures tomorrow.
Did I mention she was 8?
So what's the deal with that?!?!? I thought that stuff did not start until they were like 12-13 years old?
I am so sad because I really did fight with her - I mean she was crying and screaming because I would not let her wear this halter top white crepe dress with red flowers on it. I'm not even sure where it came from - it was in her closet with the tags still on it - hmmmm - grandma I bet - I'll get her!
It was totally inappropriate for school attire and it was a little tight to boot - so I could not even fathom allowing her to go to school in it! Besides i'm not even sure if they allow halter tops at school!!
In a different situation (and a different size) I bet it would be pretty and I would let her wear it - but not to school and especially not for picture day. I can just imagine that everytime I saw that photo I would be reminded of how I allowed her to go to school looking riduculous and also remember that awful fight and that I had given in - so no way - it's not happening!
But I'm sad and I feel bad for her that she got so upset about it. A small part of me almost let her just wear what she wanted - but Isn't that what I am here for. To help her make good choices and protect her and keep her safe and beautiful and happy.
In the short-term she may have been happy - but in the long run - if someone had teased her or if she saw her pictures and realized that it did not look as good as she thought it did then the happiness would have been forgotton and I would have felt awful for not standing my ground!
Anyway - it's been a rough day all around so I'm pooped! My broken foot is hurting especially badly, I have to go into work tomorrow and I don't want to, I had to make my husband take me to the grocery store at lunch today before he went to work (so that was a nightmare)! Then this afternoon Hannah and I had trouble finding a ride to soccer practice - but finally got it worked out at the last minute! Man I will be so happy when my foot is better and I can drive again!
And so just in case I did not think the transportation issues, and family fights were enough drama for the day - I have lost one of the diamonds in my ring and I have no idea when or where it happened so there is probably no chance of ever finding it. Of Course it was one of the two in the ring that just happened to belong to my great grandmother.
OMG - i think i need a big fat glass of wine and some mindless magazines and HGTV.
Sorry to be such a downer tonight - but man - I needed to get this day off my chest!
Be Well.
Until Next Time.
Mary
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sometimes I really do love Oprah
Why you ask? Am I becoming that cliche of a Mother who is addicted to Oprah and takes her wisdom as all that is good and true in the world? No. Certainly not.
She is a woman with the public access to get her messages and agendas out to the masses and the means to make everyone love her as she does it! And good for her - most of the time it seems like she has something pretty interesting to say. I am sure that any one of us would have a lame show now and then if we had to come up with 5 topics per week to captivate and motivate millions of people across the country. There is no way that can be easy for she and her staff....
So all in all I think she does a really good job representing women and supporting our causes and the issues that families struggle with in this country and world every day.
NOW - the reason why I am loving her lately is that she had a show about motherhood and the trials and tribulations of said job. It was like a show about "mom's dirty little secrets" and it rocked! She is so bold, sincere and unapologetic when it comes to taking a stand about parenting. And she is honest and brings out the honesty in the people who come to the show to talk about being a mother.
At some point during this show she very sincerely and candidly said, "All mothers need a wife." Period. She was not joking and did not belabor it. I just sat there half laughing and half realizing how true that was..... Wow - what if there were two of me?!?!?
Further into the show she pointed out that we used to not be so isolated when raising children. Quite often you lived with or close to relatives, and there was never even a need to ask about help with food or baking or childcare or errands. Everyone just did it together - pitched in and helped out whenever and wherever was needed. Even neighbors could provide a strong support system for one another. I remember going to my mom's best friends house as if it was my own. Just an extension of my mom who fed me and bathed me and ran me around to activities just as if I was one of her own. And my mom did the same with her daughter too. What a great example that was for me to see the art of true friendship and support, and I still consider that childhood friend as a friend in my life today. That's the power of two mothers working together to help each other be better mom's and stronger people.
Are we creating those bonds today? Do people lean on one another like we did in the past? My gut tells me no. Women today do not ask for help, or like to admit failure. We believe we can do it all and do it perfectly. I am slowly realizing that for me - my child is taking priority over my ego, or my need for some amazing world changing career. By showing Hannah what it means to be successful as a mother I am changing the world in my own special way - Her.
Be Well.
Until Next Time,
Mary
She is a woman with the public access to get her messages and agendas out to the masses and the means to make everyone love her as she does it! And good for her - most of the time it seems like she has something pretty interesting to say. I am sure that any one of us would have a lame show now and then if we had to come up with 5 topics per week to captivate and motivate millions of people across the country. There is no way that can be easy for she and her staff....
So all in all I think she does a really good job representing women and supporting our causes and the issues that families struggle with in this country and world every day.
NOW - the reason why I am loving her lately is that she had a show about motherhood and the trials and tribulations of said job. It was like a show about "mom's dirty little secrets" and it rocked! She is so bold, sincere and unapologetic when it comes to taking a stand about parenting. And she is honest and brings out the honesty in the people who come to the show to talk about being a mother.
At some point during this show she very sincerely and candidly said, "All mothers need a wife." Period. She was not joking and did not belabor it. I just sat there half laughing and half realizing how true that was..... Wow - what if there were two of me?!?!?
Further into the show she pointed out that we used to not be so isolated when raising children. Quite often you lived with or close to relatives, and there was never even a need to ask about help with food or baking or childcare or errands. Everyone just did it together - pitched in and helped out whenever and wherever was needed. Even neighbors could provide a strong support system for one another. I remember going to my mom's best friends house as if it was my own. Just an extension of my mom who fed me and bathed me and ran me around to activities just as if I was one of her own. And my mom did the same with her daughter too. What a great example that was for me to see the art of true friendship and support, and I still consider that childhood friend as a friend in my life today. That's the power of two mothers working together to help each other be better mom's and stronger people.
Are we creating those bonds today? Do people lean on one another like we did in the past? My gut tells me no. Women today do not ask for help, or like to admit failure. We believe we can do it all and do it perfectly. I am slowly realizing that for me - my child is taking priority over my ego, or my need for some amazing world changing career. By showing Hannah what it means to be successful as a mother I am changing the world in my own special way - Her.
Be Well.
Until Next Time,
Mary
Monday, April 20, 2009
more topics
my new vacuum rocks!
Dyslexia/Dysgraphia
running is all i know
the wheelie cart
ice cream man
hooked on HGTV
Dyslexia/Dysgraphia
running is all i know
the wheelie cart
ice cream man
hooked on HGTV
My Broken Foot
Hurts.
Ha! No Really - it is a pain - in so many ways!
So yes - I have broken my foot. And the worst thing is that it did not happen while I was doing anything spectacular at all! Instead it is because I am a klutz and I am a slave for fashion and I think I look at least 5 pounds thinner in 4" heels than I do in flats. So therefore I insist on wearing them pretty much 85% of the time I am outside my house.
I know - it's vain and shallow - and I know that later in life I will pay dearly for it (uh - I think I am paying for it now) but up until this happened I really did not care.
Now I am maybe reconsidering this position. mainly due to the horizontal position I have been in for the last two weeks!! Here I lay with my big swollen foot propped up with ice and bandages and not mobile in any way!!!
So the conditions of my broken foot are: No Driving and No Walking for at least 2 and maybe up to 4 weeks. In addition I must keep the foot elevated and iced as much as possible. If I promised I would adhere to these rules the lovely Orthopedics people at the sports therapy center said I did not have to get a permanent hard cast but instead could have an air cast (which is pretty much a big grey plastic boot)! :) Yea! How Lovely!
Gosh - I never thought I would be that excited about footwear that is so unattractive!
So now that I am on day 13 of my immobility I have concluded that I am not missing driving that much. Don't get me wrong - I do miss the ability to go and do whatever I want when, but at the same time NOT being able to do all those things is kind of nice too! I don't think I realized how overextended I was. There is simply not enough time in the day to do all that I do - and now I feel like I have an excuse to use for why I have to say no - or that I cannot do it! :) I guess what I really need to think about is why I feel like I need to have an excuse to say no? hmmmm - that may be a topic for another blog on another day.....
Anyway - I AM way over the hobbling around in my house! I really took for granted the use of both my feet and having my hands free and not clinging to a set of crutches! Asking everyone in my house to hand me things and get me things all the time is annoying too (for them more than me probably).
At any rate - I guess I will not do the wounded warrior 10k with my hubby and our friend Mike this weekend (bummer). And I did not get to go out for the soccer game on Saturday with my daughter (double bummer). But I am however catching up on a lot of school work and things around the house. I am working from home for 2 weeks and it is really easy to do that for me so I don't know why I do not do it more! I don't have to have a broken foot to do it - I just need to be prepared and coordinate my weeks and appointments more efficiently and I could probably do this 2-3 days of the week - or 3-4 days of half days..... that would be awesome!
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so maybe this happened because I needed to realize that I have the ability to create all the time I need or could want to do what I enjoy in my life. The only thing that was standing in my way was my own doubts! How ironic that it took not being able to stand to make me realize that!
Be well.
Until Next Time,
Mary
Ha! No Really - it is a pain - in so many ways!
So yes - I have broken my foot. And the worst thing is that it did not happen while I was doing anything spectacular at all! Instead it is because I am a klutz and I am a slave for fashion and I think I look at least 5 pounds thinner in 4" heels than I do in flats. So therefore I insist on wearing them pretty much 85% of the time I am outside my house.
I know - it's vain and shallow - and I know that later in life I will pay dearly for it (uh - I think I am paying for it now) but up until this happened I really did not care.
Now I am maybe reconsidering this position. mainly due to the horizontal position I have been in for the last two weeks!! Here I lay with my big swollen foot propped up with ice and bandages and not mobile in any way!!!
So the conditions of my broken foot are: No Driving and No Walking for at least 2 and maybe up to 4 weeks. In addition I must keep the foot elevated and iced as much as possible. If I promised I would adhere to these rules the lovely Orthopedics people at the sports therapy center said I did not have to get a permanent hard cast but instead could have an air cast (which is pretty much a big grey plastic boot)! :) Yea! How Lovely!
Gosh - I never thought I would be that excited about footwear that is so unattractive!
So now that I am on day 13 of my immobility I have concluded that I am not missing driving that much. Don't get me wrong - I do miss the ability to go and do whatever I want when, but at the same time NOT being able to do all those things is kind of nice too! I don't think I realized how overextended I was. There is simply not enough time in the day to do all that I do - and now I feel like I have an excuse to use for why I have to say no - or that I cannot do it! :) I guess what I really need to think about is why I feel like I need to have an excuse to say no? hmmmm - that may be a topic for another blog on another day.....
Anyway - I AM way over the hobbling around in my house! I really took for granted the use of both my feet and having my hands free and not clinging to a set of crutches! Asking everyone in my house to hand me things and get me things all the time is annoying too (for them more than me probably).
At any rate - I guess I will not do the wounded warrior 10k with my hubby and our friend Mike this weekend (bummer). And I did not get to go out for the soccer game on Saturday with my daughter (double bummer). But I am however catching up on a lot of school work and things around the house. I am working from home for 2 weeks and it is really easy to do that for me so I don't know why I do not do it more! I don't have to have a broken foot to do it - I just need to be prepared and coordinate my weeks and appointments more efficiently and I could probably do this 2-3 days of the week - or 3-4 days of half days..... that would be awesome!
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so maybe this happened because I needed to realize that I have the ability to create all the time I need or could want to do what I enjoy in my life. The only thing that was standing in my way was my own doubts! How ironic that it took not being able to stand to make me realize that!
Be well.
Until Next Time,
Mary
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Michael Vick: This is your life!
Who: Mike Vick.
What: May do a reality show about his "road to redemption."
When: Once released from jail.
Where: The show will take viewers from his jail release to his construction job, financial recovery planning, probation transitions, as well as his appeals to return to the NFL.
Why: Because the guy needs a job and we (the TV watchers of America) desperately need another tasteless, mindless reality show to watch.
How(can this be happening): Money Talks.
So the burning question on every one's mind this week has to be which lucky cable group will pick up the tantalizing new reality show featuring Hampton Roads shining star, Michael Vick?
As we all anxiously await the news so that we can preset our DVR's Vick and the would-be producers (and Vick's attorneys of course) are shopping the new series to a number of different stations such as Spike and A&E. The water cooler jokes have already begun about a reality show for Vick on Animal Planet - and while that might make for good office banter I would not hold your breath on that one.
Regardless of the mixed views about what Vick should or should not be doing post-incarceration the fact still remains that once released from jail Vick will have served his time, be in need of a job and be free to do as he wants.
Since NFL teams have not exactly lined up to take him off the Falcon's hands the former Warwick High School star will need to find some other means of earning a living for awhile - even if it is only to pay back the debts of his former high-dollar lifestyle.
Last week a bankruptcy judge threw out the original plans Vick and his attorneys had developed regarding his financial recovery. Now they must regroup and come up with a new plan that pays back more of the debts and liquidates more of his assets.
According to court records from the hearing on April 2nd and 3rd Vick’s current plan left the former star with two large homes and three luxury vehicles. Yet he had the ability to raise less than 10 percent of the income needed to support those living expenses at the time the case was heard.
A reality show would certainly provide a larger and faster solution to his cash flow needs than the $10 per hour construction job a local contractor and family friend has offered the ex-QB once he is released.
Vick, appearing in court to promote his plans, shared with the judge that he was counting on the TV show, as well as a quick return to football to offset the differences in the income needs and the cash available. Unfortunately the judge did not seem to think that either one of those career possibilities posed good odds for actually happening.
I can understand the Judges concern. Even if Vick gets the green light on the show the question is will it actually work out? Will the show get picked up for a whole season? Will people actually watch? Can it sustain the inevitable backlash from animal lovers who think Vick should never be allowed to move on?
Only time will tell.
Primetime that is.
Reality shows are a dime a dozen. Each day brings a new topic or person who feels their 15 minutes of fame is not quite up. So how will Vick stand out in the crowd and why will viewers accept him profiting millions off of his criminal behavior?
I have to say that the judge is not giving the TV watchers in this country enough credit! Vick’s plan will most certainly work!! Why? Because Americans love a comeback story and will anxiously watch each week as a fallen star struggles to get back on top.
In the days of layoffs, cutbacks and furloughs along with miniscule 401k’s and postponed retirement plans people need to feel like they are not alone in all this mess. Most of all they want to see people worse off than them!
This makes Vick a perfect candidate for a top-rated reality show! Broke, Hated, and Unemployed - people will not be able to miss a moment of this train wreck!
Honestly I hope the former Hokie star does get picked up for a show, pays off his debts, makes a little money for himself and redeems himself in the eyes of the public!
I think he should go work at Dogtown while awaiting the NFL’s verdict on his eligibility to return to play.
In case you don’t know Dogtown is a “sanctuary home” and the “last and best chance” for many of the dogs who come there. Earlier in the year they took in some of the dogs seized from Vick’s kennel and dedicated the show to all of 22 dogs who were removed from the home. How do I know all of this you ask? Because they have a reality show on Friday’s at 10pm on NatGeo of course.
I think Vick working at Dogtown would make for some darn-good reality TV. There would be Irony, Drama, Hatred, Defeat, and ultimately maybe even some Redemption.
I’d definitely watch.
At the end of the day, as a parent of children from the human AND canine persuasion, I truly hope Vick has learned the errors of his ways and shows that to us in whatever venue he is given.
His ultimate venue is the stadium. That is where he truly belongs. At some point down the road there will be a team that gives him that chance again – so why not in the meantime allow us to watch him try and get there.
###
What: May do a reality show about his "road to redemption."
When: Once released from jail.
Where: The show will take viewers from his jail release to his construction job, financial recovery planning, probation transitions, as well as his appeals to return to the NFL.
Why: Because the guy needs a job and we (the TV watchers of America) desperately need another tasteless, mindless reality show to watch.
How(can this be happening): Money Talks.
So the burning question on every one's mind this week has to be which lucky cable group will pick up the tantalizing new reality show featuring Hampton Roads shining star, Michael Vick?
As we all anxiously await the news so that we can preset our DVR's Vick and the would-be producers (and Vick's attorneys of course) are shopping the new series to a number of different stations such as Spike and A&E. The water cooler jokes have already begun about a reality show for Vick on Animal Planet - and while that might make for good office banter I would not hold your breath on that one.
Regardless of the mixed views about what Vick should or should not be doing post-incarceration the fact still remains that once released from jail Vick will have served his time, be in need of a job and be free to do as he wants.
Since NFL teams have not exactly lined up to take him off the Falcon's hands the former Warwick High School star will need to find some other means of earning a living for awhile - even if it is only to pay back the debts of his former high-dollar lifestyle.
Last week a bankruptcy judge threw out the original plans Vick and his attorneys had developed regarding his financial recovery. Now they must regroup and come up with a new plan that pays back more of the debts and liquidates more of his assets.
According to court records from the hearing on April 2nd and 3rd Vick’s current plan left the former star with two large homes and three luxury vehicles. Yet he had the ability to raise less than 10 percent of the income needed to support those living expenses at the time the case was heard.
A reality show would certainly provide a larger and faster solution to his cash flow needs than the $10 per hour construction job a local contractor and family friend has offered the ex-QB once he is released.
Vick, appearing in court to promote his plans, shared with the judge that he was counting on the TV show, as well as a quick return to football to offset the differences in the income needs and the cash available. Unfortunately the judge did not seem to think that either one of those career possibilities posed good odds for actually happening.
I can understand the Judges concern. Even if Vick gets the green light on the show the question is will it actually work out? Will the show get picked up for a whole season? Will people actually watch? Can it sustain the inevitable backlash from animal lovers who think Vick should never be allowed to move on?
Only time will tell.
Primetime that is.
Reality shows are a dime a dozen. Each day brings a new topic or person who feels their 15 minutes of fame is not quite up. So how will Vick stand out in the crowd and why will viewers accept him profiting millions off of his criminal behavior?
I have to say that the judge is not giving the TV watchers in this country enough credit! Vick’s plan will most certainly work!! Why? Because Americans love a comeback story and will anxiously watch each week as a fallen star struggles to get back on top.
In the days of layoffs, cutbacks and furloughs along with miniscule 401k’s and postponed retirement plans people need to feel like they are not alone in all this mess. Most of all they want to see people worse off than them!
This makes Vick a perfect candidate for a top-rated reality show! Broke, Hated, and Unemployed - people will not be able to miss a moment of this train wreck!
Honestly I hope the former Hokie star does get picked up for a show, pays off his debts, makes a little money for himself and redeems himself in the eyes of the public!
I think he should go work at Dogtown while awaiting the NFL’s verdict on his eligibility to return to play.
In case you don’t know Dogtown is a “sanctuary home” and the “last and best chance” for many of the dogs who come there. Earlier in the year they took in some of the dogs seized from Vick’s kennel and dedicated the show to all of 22 dogs who were removed from the home. How do I know all of this you ask? Because they have a reality show on Friday’s at 10pm on NatGeo of course.
I think Vick working at Dogtown would make for some darn-good reality TV. There would be Irony, Drama, Hatred, Defeat, and ultimately maybe even some Redemption.
I’d definitely watch.
At the end of the day, as a parent of children from the human AND canine persuasion, I truly hope Vick has learned the errors of his ways and shows that to us in whatever venue he is given.
His ultimate venue is the stadium. That is where he truly belongs. At some point down the road there will be a team that gives him that chance again – so why not in the meantime allow us to watch him try and get there.
###
We all need a few best friends
We All Need a Few Best Friends
By Mary McChesney
3/31/09
I have been pondering something my mother said to me the other day.
“Your husband should be your best friend,” She quipped through my cell phone.
I thought about this for a long time after we hung up. And now weeks later I am still considering that statement and its accurateness.
The person you choose to "spend the rest of your life with" should certainly be someone you like and someone you consider your friend. At the same time does that person have to be your "best friend?"
If you only relied on your husband for everything it would put a lot of pressure on one person to fulfill so many different needs for you. They are already the person you are in love with and intimate with, the person you raise a family with, and the person you probably invest the most money and trust with. They are your business partner (co-CEO’s of your household), and yes your friend. However it is not fair to make them your only friend – you must have another well to pull from when it comes to your social life and so should they.
Katie Payne, reporter at the Artesian Herald, thinks every woman should have at least 5 best friends. She categorizes them into different needs you have at different times and that makes good sense to me. Her top 5 best friends are “The Uplifter, The Travel Buddy, The Truth Teller, The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun, and The Unlikely Friend.”
The explanations for these friends is probably self-explanatory, but just to be clear Payne details the descriptions and expectations of these friends in her Jan. 28, 2008 article titled: “The Five Best Friends a Woman Should Have.”
Now maybe for other women their top 5 fall into different categories than Payne’s but I am sure every woman you know could give you 5 other people who they felt were a “Best Friend” and the different role that person plays in their life!
I think relying on only one person to give you the emotional, mental and physical support a human being needs will only set you up for disappointment.
Others may disagree.
A quick perusal of a few chatting sites such as Yahoo, Answer Bag, My Lot, Redbook, and Buzzle showed me that most people when asked about this topic felt that your husband should indeed be your best friend.
One writer even said that if your husband was not your best friend then your marriage was doomed – ouch – quick call the attorney!
Most of the opinions found claimed to have and cherish this singular and idealistic unity with their significant others. Ironically in almost the same breath everyone of them went on to say that other friends were important and necessary for a well balanced life.
So I concede that of course your husband should be your friend and in some aspects of your relationship he will be closer to you than anyone else. However just because you have a level of intimacy with him in some things does not mean you should then put all your other emotional eggs into his basket.
So mom, lighten up and give my poor over-extended step-dad a break. He already fulfills a lot of things for you in your life. You don’t go to your girlfriends for foot rubs and romantic dinners so why go to your husband for retail therapy and gossip sessions?
If you think about it she has already proven my point anyway by simply making the phone call to me to talk about her issues in the first place!
At the end of the day husbands and can also be your friends, but your best friends are the only people who can help you keep your husband and your sanity.
Be Well.
Until Next Time,
Mary
By Mary McChesney
3/31/09
I have been pondering something my mother said to me the other day.
“Your husband should be your best friend,” She quipped through my cell phone.
I thought about this for a long time after we hung up. And now weeks later I am still considering that statement and its accurateness.
The person you choose to "spend the rest of your life with" should certainly be someone you like and someone you consider your friend. At the same time does that person have to be your "best friend?"
If you only relied on your husband for everything it would put a lot of pressure on one person to fulfill so many different needs for you. They are already the person you are in love with and intimate with, the person you raise a family with, and the person you probably invest the most money and trust with. They are your business partner (co-CEO’s of your household), and yes your friend. However it is not fair to make them your only friend – you must have another well to pull from when it comes to your social life and so should they.
Katie Payne, reporter at the Artesian Herald, thinks every woman should have at least 5 best friends. She categorizes them into different needs you have at different times and that makes good sense to me. Her top 5 best friends are “The Uplifter, The Travel Buddy, The Truth Teller, The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun, and The Unlikely Friend.”
The explanations for these friends is probably self-explanatory, but just to be clear Payne details the descriptions and expectations of these friends in her Jan. 28, 2008 article titled: “The Five Best Friends a Woman Should Have.”
Now maybe for other women their top 5 fall into different categories than Payne’s but I am sure every woman you know could give you 5 other people who they felt were a “Best Friend” and the different role that person plays in their life!
I think relying on only one person to give you the emotional, mental and physical support a human being needs will only set you up for disappointment.
Others may disagree.
A quick perusal of a few chatting sites such as Yahoo, Answer Bag, My Lot, Redbook, and Buzzle showed me that most people when asked about this topic felt that your husband should indeed be your best friend.
One writer even said that if your husband was not your best friend then your marriage was doomed – ouch – quick call the attorney!
Most of the opinions found claimed to have and cherish this singular and idealistic unity with their significant others. Ironically in almost the same breath everyone of them went on to say that other friends were important and necessary for a well balanced life.
So I concede that of course your husband should be your friend and in some aspects of your relationship he will be closer to you than anyone else. However just because you have a level of intimacy with him in some things does not mean you should then put all your other emotional eggs into his basket.
So mom, lighten up and give my poor over-extended step-dad a break. He already fulfills a lot of things for you in your life. You don’t go to your girlfriends for foot rubs and romantic dinners so why go to your husband for retail therapy and gossip sessions?
If you think about it she has already proven my point anyway by simply making the phone call to me to talk about her issues in the first place!
At the end of the day husbands and can also be your friends, but your best friends are the only people who can help you keep your husband and your sanity.
Be Well.
Until Next Time,
Mary
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